


amongst the clouds

by passionfire



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad High, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Karlnap, M/M, Marijuana, No Beta, Weed, sapnap is a stoner, this is mostly fluffy except for some of the hurt parts of the hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29410491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/passionfire/pseuds/passionfire
Summary: Sapnap has a rough week and decides to smoke on the roof to relieve some of his nerves until those nerves spread into his high.
Relationships: Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 5
Kudos: 129





	amongst the clouds

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Restricted Work] by [Colourspaz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colourspaz/pseuds/Colourspaz). Log in to view. 



> warning: there's some descriptive scenes of anxiety/panic attacks, and obviously a lot of talk about drugs, so if you're uncomfortable with that, please don't read!
> 
> this was inspired by "somehow, you're there" by colourspaz and dedicated to the rest of the server, i love you guys <3
> 
> (if any of the cc's involved in this work are uncomfortable with fanfiction or other content like this, i will take it down! also, karl and/or sapnap if you're somehow reading this, i'm sorry)

The door to the roof closed with a click as Sapnap felt the January wind bite his nose, a folding chair under his arm, and a blanket over his shoulder. As much as he wanted to be inside, cuddled up with a hot chocolate and his boyfriend, he opted to take a journey up to the roof and smoke a blunt to settle some of his nerves. He unfolded his chair and his blanket, wrapping it around his shoulders as he sat down. The wind wasn't intense, just enough of a breeze for his face to feel the cold, but the lack of warmth surrounding him wasn't helped by the pure tenseness he felt throughout his body. 

For lack of a better word, his entire week had been shit. His computer had crashed every time he tried to open Twitch to stream, his videos seemed to take years to render, and his friends' schedules just couldn't seem to work out for a game night. 

Sapnap slid his lighter out of his pocket and spun it in his fingers before flicking the switch and lighting the roll. He pressed it to his lips and inhaled, shutting his eyes. He felt the smoke fill his lungs, bringing back that familiar feeling of comfort. Behind his closed eyes, he saw his favorite memories of Karl. He saw his favorite memories of Dream and George. He saw his MCC win and the late-night conversations he'd had with the rest of the friends, the friends he missed so dearly. He blew the smoke out of his mouth and watched it disperse into the winter air, letting out the first real exhale he'd felt in a long time. Something about the hum of traffic all those stories below him countered the silence that filled the roof, creating a layer of clouds around his thoughts. 

He took another hit, desperately trying to keep himself warm. He shifted the blanket on his shoulders, wrapping it tighter around his arms. His free arm fell to the armrest of his chair, and he let his head fall back. Looking at the rest of the world upside down, he blew out the smoke. He closed his eyes and propped his feet up on the railing surrounding the roof. 

Just as the weed started to hit, thoughts of his boyfriend immediately cushioned his mind. He opened his eyes, his head still back against the fabric of the chair's backing. As he looked back, he saw the door to the roof open, and a familiar sweater appeared in the archway. Sapnap furrowed his brow for a second, looking at Karl's face upside down from the way he was lying. He took his feet off the railing and turned around to see his boyfriend walking towards him with a mug of hot chocolate cupped in his sweater paws. Karl grinned, making his way over to Sapnap's chair. 

"Hey," he stopped next to the chair and looked down at Sapnap. Sapnap looked up at him and smiled before Karl offered the hot chocolate over. Sapnap didn't immediately take it; instead, he shifted his arms to open his lap for Karl to sit. Karl giggled, hair falling over his eyes as he curled into Sapnap's lap and rested his head on his shoulder. Sapnap took the hot chocolate from his hands to stop him from spilling it and took a sip. It was perfect.

He passed the blunt into the hand holding the mug and used his free hand to bring the blanket over Karl's shoulder. Karl turned his head from being nuzzled in Sapnap's shoulder to just resting on it with his face towards Sapnap's neck. Karl pressed a gentle kiss into his neck, and he felt him smile. Sapnap took an opportunity to run his hands through Karl's hair, a perfect mix of fluffy and curly. He glanced down at Karl, whose eyes had drifted shut to embrace their shared warmth. Karl was smiling, and he likely would've fallen asleep if he didn't move for a while. 

Sapnap nudged his shoulder up a little. "Karl?" he murmured.

"Mmh?" Karl's eyes fluttered open, and he looked up. 

"Can you hold the hot chocolate for a minute? Don't wanna spill it while I take a hit."

Karl took the mug and wrapped his fingers around the handle delicately. He felt Sapnap's chest rise underneath him as he inhaled, and he felt it fall as he exhaled. Karl could stay like this forever, and he'd be content. 

"You want some?" Sapnap said, offering Karl the blunt after a few moments of sweet silence. 

Karl shook his head, eyes still closed on Sapnap's shoulder. "Not tonight." 

Sapnap nodded, returning his hand to Karl's hair. He thought for a minute, then looked down at his boyfriend. "Karl," he smiled. "Look at this."

Karl's eyes widened in curiosity as he looked up at Sapnap. "Hm?"

Sapnap brought the blunt up to his lips, still tainted with a smile, and inhaled. He blew out a little puff of smoke, then drew it back into his mouth. Karl's mouth fell open in a silly sense of surprise, but he couldn't keep it together. He folded down into Sapnap's chest, laughing at himself. As soon as Karl started laughing, Sapnap lost all composure and started giggling along with him. The smoke he had been holding in his mouth went everywhere, and he started coughing in between laughs. Both of them were bumbling messes, but they were more than happy with it, as long as they were together. 

Sapnap finished coughing the rest of the smoke out and looked down at Karl. Something about this moment was so beautiful to him. Something about sitting on the roof, smoking a blunt with his favorite person laying on his chest, made up for everything that went wrong during his week.

* * *

The wind picked up, and as much as it didn't affect Sapnap, it made Karl start shivering under the blanket. He curled up on his boyfriend's lap even tighter in an attempt to absorb some of his body heat. Sapnap pulled the blanket tighter around him and leaned down to kiss his forehead. "You want to head back inside? You're shivering so much; it's kind of scaring me." 

Karl pouted for a second, looking up at Sapnap. He didn't want to leave this moment. "I guess so, yeah." He hesitated for a second before sliding out of Sapnap's lap and steadying onto his feet. He yawned and stretched out his arms. "What'd'ya say I go bake some cookies? They ought to be ready by the time you're done, right?"

Sapnap grinned up at Karl. "I'd like that."

Before Karl walked away, he leaned down to plant a kiss on Sapnap's forehead. "I love you." 

"Love you too, Karl," Sapnap kept grinning as Karl made his way back to the door to the stairwell.

* * *

The wind grew even more as Karl's presence drained from the roof. At least it felt that way as Sapnap started shaking a little under the blanket. He was pulling the blanket tighter over his shoulders when he realized it wasn't the wind making him uncomfortable. He was getting high, and it was going south. 

He groaned and looked up at the stars. Every once in a while, he'd smoke and get a bad high, but he didn't want tonight to be one of those. He wanted to go back to cuddling with Karl, where everything seemed alright. 

He locked his eyes on the blunt in his hand. _'It's almost gone. It can't hurt to finish it, right?'_ He thought. _'Maybe it'll end up feeling better once I've finished the whole thing. It's probably just taking a bit to work.'_

Sapnap took some time to finish it, and every second he hoped he'd get what he desired from smoking. The last thing he needed was a bad high tonight, but the higher he got, the more anxious he grew. By the time he finished the blunt, the air around him felt a million times denser than it had when he first started, and his heart was racing. He shuddered.

The only thing he wanted right now was to start the night over. He wished he'd never come to the roof to smoke. He wished he'd spent the night inside, cuddled up with Karl watching a movie. He wanted Karl more than anything right now; Karl could always make him feel better. 

Sapnap's mind started to wander: What if Karl wouldn't have left him up on the roof alone to finish smoking? He wasn't upset with Karl for going back inside; he was upset at himself for staying up past his limits.

He felt like the cold air was packing itself against his face, closing him in an invisible box that was growing smaller by the second. His breathing grew more and more shallow, and he knew he needed to get inside. 

Sapnap stood up and shakily tried to catch his balance. As soon as he left the chair, he felt like the entire world was spinning around him. He shut his eyes and tried to regain himself, but he couldn't shake any of these bad feelings. With his blanket still draped around his shoulders, he tried to fold up the chair and tuck it under his arm. He shuffled towards the exit and fiddled with the door for a second before he remembered how to open it. Every few steps, he stopped to make sure he didn't trip and fall over the blurry ground in front of him. 

He was back inside their apartment, faced with a choice: Should he try and make it all the way across the floor plan and into his bedroom or just slip into the bathroom next to him? Without fully thinking about it, he went for the latter and quietly rushed into the bathroom. As soon as he heard the door shut behind him, his knees buckled, and he was on the floor, his back leaning up against the bathtub. He brought his knees to his chest and buried his forehead in them. 

Every few moments, he could hear Karl sliding a baking sheet into the oven or tossing a used one into the sink. Once or twice, he heard a pan hit the floor and Karl curse. Truthfully, these sounds weren't that loud. Karl definitely hadn't heard him come in, and every little noise that Sapnap heard was amplified by the overwhelming silence filtering in and out of his brain. 

Sapnap tried his best to regulate his breathing, but every few seconds, his mind would wander down a dark hole of paranoia. He shivered, realizing he must've dropped his blanket at some point between the roof and his hiding spot on the bathroom floor. He started to ponder, his mind almost tumbling down a staircase of repressed thoughts that were ripped to the surface by the drugs in his system, when he heard someone fiddling with the door.

In just a few short seconds, Karl stood in the doorway, frozen in place and looking at Sapnap. Sapnap's head jolted up to look at Karl standing there.

"What the-" He looked around for a second, then back at Sapnap in a ball on the ground. "What the fuck?"

He shook his head a little, then rushed over to Sapnap and knelt down next to him. "Are you alright?"

Sapnap nodded, burying his head back in his knees.

Karl placed a hand on Sapnap's back in an attempt to comfort him. "Sap, what's wrong?" 

Without warning, Sapnap almost launched himself onto Karl, wrapping his arms around him. Before Karl could even react, Sapnap was sobbing into his shoulder, holding him tight. Karl returned the hug, a million times more gentle than Sapnap was hugging him. 

"Karl," Sapnap exhaled, trying to gather himself. His entire body was tense in his boyfriend's arms, but he'd lost all control.

"I'm here, I'm here," Karl replied. He ran his hand up and down Sapnap's back. He hesitated. "D'you wanna tell me what's up?"

Sapnap shook his head but tried to talk anyways. "Too high," he mumbled. "Bad high."

Karl's face immediately fell, and Sapnap dug his head back into his shoulder. Karl leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "I'm so sorry, Sap, I really am. I-" He paused for a second. "I love you." 

Sapnap didn't respond; he just squeezed Karl a little tighter. 

"Do you think we can make it to the couch?" Karl whispered.

Sapnap drew his head back and nodded. Karl slowly made it to his feet and reached down for Sapnap to grab his hand from the floor.

He took some time to get up, trying to internally stabilize himself. All through his legs, he felt like the floor was about to give out underneath him. His legs shook beneath him as he finally gathered his balance, leaning on Karl for stability.

"You're alright, you're going to be alright." Karl said, his words wrapping around Sapnap's mind. 

He clasped Sapnap's hand in his own, slowly leading him out of the bathroom and onto their couch. Sapnap sunk into the cushions, still shaking in his skin. Karl didn't immediately sit down next to him; he reached to the other end of the sofa to grab the fluffiest blanket they owned. 

"I dropped my blanket on the way here," Sapnap muttered, "Don't know where it went." His words lacked support underneath them, dissolving the minute they left his mouth. 

Karl placed the new blanket across Sapnap's chest. "It's okay, I'm not worried about it. The only thing I want right now is to make sure you're alright, okay?" He slid onto the couch next to him, slipping his arm behind his shoulders. Sapnap instinctively melted into Karl's warmth. 

The two of them sat there for a little bit, Karl running his hand up and down Sapnap's arm to protect the feeling of safety between them. Sapnap leaned his head down onto Karl's shoulder and mumbled, "I rolled a little more than usual tonight... Thought I could handle it."

Karl frowned. "I know, Sap, I know. You told me how rough your week had been. I wish I could've done a little more to help you out, but you're here now, and that's all that matters." He tried to get Sapnap's mind off of all the thoughts that could've been bothering him. "What'd you have for dinner?"

"I don't," he let out a shaky exhale, "I don't remember... Don't think I ate." His breathing started to grow shallow again, enough that Karl could feel it next to him.

"Can you breathe for me? Yep, just like this." Karl let his chest rise and fall so Sapnap could match it and calm down a little bit. "Good job. You want me to grab you a snack or something from the kitchen?"

"Water?" Sapnap whispered. Karl nodded in response, sliding his hand out from behind his boyfriend's back to get up.

* * *

Karl came back with a pack of saltines and a small glass of water. Sapnap reached out from under the blanket to grasp the cup and bring it to his lips, sipping slowly. Karl sat back down next to him and offered some of the crackers over. Sapnap shook his head softly, closing his eyes.

"Are you feeling any better?" Karl leaned towards him, his hand flowing up to Sapnap's hair. 

Sapnap frowned, mumbling. "Not really."

Karl sighed. "You're probably just going to have to wait it out, Sap; I'm sorry."

Sapnap shifted, sliding onto Karl's lap instead of being next to him. 

Karl took this opportunity to take the now-empty water cup from his hands and set it on the coffee table, allowing both of their hands to be free. He could quickly feel how tense Sapnap was in his arms, but he could also feel him relaxing by the second. 

"Karl?" Sapnap asked.

"Yeah? Do you need something?"

Karl felt Sapnap smile on top of him. "Thank you... I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed Sapnap's cheek in front of him. "You don't have to thank me for anything; I'm here for you no matter what."

In what felt like a few short minutes, Sapnap fell asleep with Karl's hand still massaging through his hair. Karl took notice and allowed his guard to come down a little. He felt a little sleepy himself, and no longer needed to stay awake for Sapnap's sake. Just before he dozed off with his arms wrapped around his boyfriend, he planted another kiss on his cheek and smiled. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! if you're interested in following me on twitter, i'm @K4RLSIMP :)  
> if you have any requests or constructive criticism or anything, feel free to drop them in the comments. this is my first time posting a mcyt fic


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